DAVE THE TURTLE

Max gave Dave the Turtle to Allison for her birthday

When Allison and I broke up
She handed him to me in his little plastic cage with a green top
The one she had made him move back into
After I built him a big beautiful cage
That the cats wouldn’t leave alone

She said
“Here. Take him. I never want to see him again.”

I thought,
Does she mean she never wants to me see again, or Dave?
I left
and when I got to the stares I looked at Dave in his little plastic cage and laughed
then I thought,
I must be an asshole for laughing right now

But I quickly forgave myself
Because I know it’s just a defense mechanism

Dave’s life at my apartment is something like this
He sits in a Tupperware container on a table by the window
It is a lame replica of his big cage from Allison’s
If I open the shades the right way he gets some sunlight
But I often put him on the sill
And open the window for fresh air

When I am not home Dave sits in his Tupperware for days
In darkness
I arrive home, turn on the lights, and pick up his container
making the water slush around

It is an attempt to be kind
and stimulate his environment
But it always comes out wrong, almost violent, because I move too fast compensating for the fact that I haven’t been home in days.

Dave has made several suicide attempts
I put him on Allison’s bed once
And forgot he was there
When I remembered, we ran into the room and he was on the ground under the dresser

Since then, several jumps have occurred

I went to the train to meet Billy forgetting Dave was on my coffee table
We looked everywhere for him
He was under the couch
He usually goes to a dark spot
I said to Billy,
"He's in a dark place"
we laughed

He actually got out of his Tupperware under his own power once

I was typing
I heard something by the window

Half an hour later
I walked over to see Dave, and he wasn’t in his container
He was under the radiator
Below the sill

Dave constantly tries to escape
But that was the only time he made it out under his own power
And I can’t figure how he did it

Sometimes I worry he is trying to drown himself

Every few days I put him in the bathtub
And run the water
Hoping he will like the sound of the running water
But he just sits there
Under his shell
So its hard for me to tell if he likes it

There is a pond in Prospect Park
Just outside my home
I plan to set Dave free there this spring